The pressure to pick a aabel
Do you feel like you cannot give one specific label to your sexual orientation? Do you experience shifts in sexuality? One day you identify yourself as 'gay' but the next month you think you are 'straight'? You always find yourself attracted to the person rather than the gender? Then maybe you are abrosexual (or as you prefer, let's keep the label aside).
Experiencing frequent shifts in sexual identity is growing quite common. Such people might feel pressured by the society to choose a certain label from the LGBTQ spectrum. But in reality, they truly do not wish to have any label on them. One reason being they honestly don't know which gender they prefer (because they prefer the human rather than the gender). Another possible reason being they seek comfort in freedom from the label.
Fret not, you are not alone.
Lukas Gage, 'Euphoria' star, has often been pressured to choose a certain LGBTQ+ category to define his sexuality. But so far he has successfully resisted picking a certain category until he is fully ready to do it.
"Stop dyeing your hair, stop wearing weird clothes and pick a lane: gay, bi or straight. It’s too confusing" -Lukas Gage's past agent.
Then there's Diplo!
Diplo, famous American DJ, avoids addressing his sexuality by saying 'everyone's a lil gay', 'I'm a vibe guy' instead of focusing on a certain gender of the partners he prefers.
“There’s a couple guys that I’d be like, ‘I could date this guy… life partner-wise'...I’m not really aroused by men that much, that I know about.” - Diplo
Paris Jackson, an American model and daughter of Michael Jackson, who considered herself as 'gay', is now dating a male and feels that a certain label does not represent her sexuality.
"I say I’m gay, because I guess I am, but I wouldn’t consider myself bisexual because I’ve dated more than just men and women... I’ve dated a man that had a vagina. So it has nothing to do with what’s in your pants. It has nothing to do with your XY chromosome makeup…it’s literally just like, what are you like as a person." -Paris Jackson
Keke Palmer, famous American actress, does not define herself at a certain point on the LGBTQ+ spectrum and rather believes in sexual fluidity.
“Yeah, I’m definitely in the middle of the scale. I’m definitely even across the board...I feel like love is love, life is life. Do your thing, live your life. I feel that way... - Keke Palmer, 2023
“Am I gay? Am I straight? Am I bi?...I’m making the rules for myself, and I don’t have to be stuck down to one label.” - Keke Palmer, 2016
Overcoming the pressure
Like Lukas Gage, you might also find yourself pressurised to pick a label. You might also not know how to express your sexual orientation to the person. Maybe quite often you are seen as 'confused', even though you are not!
Firstly, if you are not comfortable picking one sexual orientation, tell them so. Just say 'you are not ready' like Lukas Gage did. Being honest to yourself is more important than keeping up with societal expectations.
If you feel that you are abrosexual (the one who experiences sexual fluidity), here are some alternative ways to express your views:
Tell them you are abrosexual and define it in the way it means to you.
Tell them what you have experienced. For example: "I used like X gender and now I only feel attracted to Z gender"
Them tell you are attracted to the person rather any specific gender.
Tell them you rather not stick to one label.
Tell them about the questions and challenges you have faced.
Tell them how you would like to be supported by them.
Your journey is your journey. No one can describe it better than you can. Experiencing sexual fluidity is a thing, and you are not confused! Take your time to understand who you are and do not feel pressurized to quickly pick a label. At the end, no matter the label, love is love.
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