What is asexuality?
Asexuality is when a person has little to no sexual attraction to others and has no desire to partake in sexual activities. Just because asexuals don't have a sexual attraction to others, it doesn't mean they don't have a sex drive; these things are separate. People who are asexual can experience other types of attraction that are not sexual such as romantic attraction and emotional attraction.
Your libido involves wanting to have sex and experience sexual pleasure and sexual release. This refers to the desire to have sex, whether, for fun, a personal connection, conception, or something else, and sexual attraction involves finding someone sexually appealing and wanting to have sex with them. For some people, it might feel like wanting to scratch an itch, your sexual desire. Some people aren't asexual, have a low libido and may not desire sex. Similarly, many asexual people still have a libido and might experience sexual desire.
Asexuals can experience romantic attraction, but not all do; some are aromantic. This means that some asexuals can form romantic connections, but others don't, which is by choice and how they feel most comfortable.
What about sex?
Asexuality doesn't mean people won't have sex; they don't feel sexual attraction. There are many reasons why people that are asexual will have sex, like reproducing, to satisfy their libido or to make their partners happy. Some asexuals won't have sex. Wouldn't they have no sexual desire? This could be different for all asexuals because asexuality is different for everyone, the same as how heterosexuals may find someone attractive that another heterosexual wouldn't; it's all about preference.
One of the myths about asexuality is that people think it's about celibacy or abstinence. Celibacy is about abstaining from sex and possibly marriage for extended periods. Many people commit to celibacy for religious, cultural, or personal reasons. One key difference lies in the fact that abstinence and celibacy represent choices. Asexuality does not. Moreover, asexual people might not abstain from sex at all — and people who choose celibacy or abstinence can certainly experience sexual attraction.
Asexuality in relationships
There are different kinds of relationships; there are romantic and unromantic relationships. These types of relationships do work; however, they require a lot of communication between the partners to ensure the needs of both parties are met. Another way in which asexuals solve the issue of not wanting to have sex is by being involved in open relationships. Open relationships are when your partner can have sex with whomever they like but must be emotionally committed to you. If you're asexual, you'll want to talk to your partner about the types of sexual activity you're open to (if any) and any other boundaries around sex.
As romantic desire and attraction are different to sexual interest and passion, this allows asexuals to have relationships that are just as intimate as heterosexual relationships minus the sex. This means the partners have a solid emotional and mental connection, which they rely on rather than the physical aspects of relationships. Asexuals can also have relationships with other asexuals or people that aren't asexual; there is no boundary to only allow asexuals to date other asexuals.
How can we define asexuality?
Asexuality to you may be different than asexuality to someone else. How you choose to identify is up to you, and if you believe you are asexual, you should be defined as such. As you can see, asexuality isn't set in stone when it comes to having sex or a romantic attraction, so therefore, you must decide what asexuality means to you, and hopefully, now that you know more about asexuality you can support those who are asexual without just thinking "oh they're a prude" or thinking that they're celibate because asexuality is more than that. But no, we cannot truly define asexuality because it is different for each person that identifies as asexual.
Remember this pride month to celebrate everyone, celebrate yourself, and have fun. Shout it from the rooftops. Embrace your sexuality.
Everybody can spread the love this month, and the LGBTQ community is such a unique and accepting community, so don't be scared, wave your flag; you are important and beautiful. Live your life without fear; this is who you are! Whether you're heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, or transgender, you are valued.
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