Is it still a taboo?
In this current age, awareness of mental health has burrowed deep into our collective conscious. We have all seen increased importance placed on the subject, whether in school, the workplace or in everyday life. But is it still something unspoken between children and parents?
Children keep it to themselves
Recent research into children's and parents' mental health has concluded:
This may seem a shocking finding considering the increased awareness of mental health issues in today's society. It is even more damning considering 1 in 6 children, between the age of 6 to 16 years old, are likely to experience a mental health problem.
It is clear for many that mental health issues, even their own, are not discussed with a parent. But why?
Well, there could be many reasons. Maybe it's the fear of not knowing how your parent would react and in your mind imagining the worse the case scenario. Perhaps you believe by opening up you'll unintentionally disappoint them and anger them. Or even thinking you'll be seen as no longer their wonderful child but a burden. It can even be a mix of them all.
I experienced this all first hand with my sister who struggles with anxiety. Being her brother and closer to her age, she was more comfortable discussing her difficulties with me and, to joint regret now, kept it from our mum. Her anxiety about mum knowing of her severe anxiety only heightened it to a horrible effect.
I saw that keeping it in only made it more difficult.
Parents are affected as well
It is not only children that are affected by mental health but the parents are as well. The quick assumption may be that they are out of touch, being from a generation much different from our own. This could be the case for some, but it is clear for the majority that they do not view it as a fad but with high importance, as 71% of parents don't think that there is enough mental health support available for children.
Most important is the fact that, as a government study says, parents are largely those who deal with mental health issues:
What is something that is a taboo topic among children and their parents is in fact the thing many of them can relate and share.
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With my family, as open as we were, this was one of those things we did not discuss. It was only until my sister's anxiety became too much to handle and too difficult to conceal that our mum became aware. Which led to family talks and the discovery of our mum's troubles with her own mental health.
While this all seems dramatic, and quite frankly it was, what has since sprouted is an openness shared among us. I discussed this newly developed openness with them both recently and we all concluded it has made us happier and better together. And certainly less shouty.
Opening up is hard - but worth it!
You may have related strongly to what has been discussed. Maybe you keep things hidden from a parent. Or maybe you're a parent yourself, fearing you'll make life difficult for your children by discussing these topics. It doesn't even have to be parental related, it could be a grandparent, cousin, aunt, uncle, friend, or any loved one really.
Whoever it may be, I hope reading this has inspired a reflection within you and on your relationships with those close around you. Perhaps you have something to say to another to do with your own mental health but have still kept it to yourself. Or maybe something simple as checking if someone you know, or haven't seen in a while, is okay.
It may seem small but its impact will be tremendously huge.
But if you're finding it difficult to go straight to them to share inner thoughts and experiences - don't worry! and certainly don't panic in a rush.
There are plenty of online resources and helplines run by specialists, dedicated to supporting mental health, whether you're a child, parent or any other. These may be stepping stones to that next, positive step!
If there's anything to take away from any of this it is:
You are not alone.
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